Why change is hard and what you can do about it.

Ever wondered why change seems elusive? It's this identification with our behaviours and beliefs that makes change seem insurmountable. When we are identified with something, we can't see the wood for the trees. But through self observation you can separate yourself enough to observe your patterns more objectively. Our latest article will tell you how!

I wonder if you can identify with a question I often hear from my clients:  "Why do I keep doing things that I know aren't good for me?" It's a question filled with both longing and fear—an expression of the desire for change, yet the worry that change might never come.

I welcome this question because it signals a yearning for growth. But it also reveals a fear that change may remain elusive. Why is that? We become so intertwined with our patterns that they become ingrained in our identity. Breaking free from these patterns can feel like unraveling a part of ourselves and so, with care and sensitivity, this is how we explore it together.

I prefer techniques that invite self-reflection over over-analysis. Rather than delving into intellectual discussions, I believe in using methods that foster introspection. Whether we're dealing with emotions like sadness or feelings of inadequacy, or behaviours like avoiding problems or fixating on certain things, we bring them into the room. We examine them closely and ask: What are they trying to tell us?

This approach, which I call Self Observation, is an all-purpose method of inquiry. It can be applied to any symptom, problem, or issue you'd like to learn more about. Whether it's a physical symptom like stomach pain or a craving for food or alcohol, or an issue in your life like ongoing difficulty in a relationship or memories of past trauma, Self Observation offers a pathway to insight and understanding.

You can do this too. By confronting your emotions and behaviours, you'll find they have lessons to teach you. Through observation and understanding, you can learn to tame them. In this process, lies the potential for profound personal growth and transformation.

Remember to do this alongside a mental health professional if this work feels too overwhelming. You are also very welcome to join our MORE community for a free session where we use this and other tools to change the learnt behaviour that holds us back.